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Cream of the Crop 21
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Cream of the Crop 21 (Terry Blount) (October 1996).iso
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REDNECK.TXT
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1995-05-28
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5KB
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126 lines
... URA Redneck if: You barbeque Spam on the Grill.
... URA Redneck if: Jack Daniels is on your list of most admired people.
... URA Redneck if: The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
... URA Redneck if: The Orkin man tells you, "Give up; you've lost."
... URA Redneck if: Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
... URA Redneck if: You've ever used a weed eater indoors.
... URA Redneck if: all of your four-letter word are two syllables.
... URA Redneck if: You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
... URA Redneck if: Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
... URA Redneck if: You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen floor.
... URA Redneck if: Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
... URA Redneck if: You've ever asked a widow for her phone # at the funeral home.
... URA Redneck if: the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
... URA Redneck if: The directions to your Double-wide include the statement... "turn off the paved road".
... URA Redneck if: the primary color of your car is Bondo.
... URA Redneck if: Your sister introduces you as the father of her children.
... URA Redneck if: Blowing a tire means a new flower pot in your front yard.
... URA Redneck if: You owe a taxidermist more money than your annual income.
... URA Redneck if: You mow your lawn and find a car.
... URA Redneck if: You have a taxidermist's phone number on your speed dial.
... URA Redneck if: You get your oil changed by your barber.
... URA Redneck if: You go to family re-unions looking for Womem to date.
... URA Redneck if: You dress the kids up just to go to K-Mart.
... URA Redneck if: You hold a Frog and _it_ worries about getting warts.
... URA Redneck if: You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
... URA Redneck if: You think suspenders are a type of shirt.
... URA Redneck if: You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
... URA Redneck if: Your Dad walks you to school because you're both in the same grade.
... URA Redneck if: you have a rag for a gas cap.
... URA Redneck if: You think Ross Perot is the name of your Urologist.
... URA Redneck if: everyone in your family is an Elvis impersonator.
... URA Redneck if: You think a Volvo is part of a Woman's anatomy.
... URA Redneck if: You've lost a tooth opening a Beer bottle.
... URA Redneck if: Your mother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
... URA Redneck if: after making love, you ask your date to roll down the window.
... URA Redneck if: your Mother doesn't remove the Marlburo from her lips before telling the Traffic Cop to kiss her A**
... URA Redneck if: Your father made your personalized license plates.
... URA Redneck if: Your Mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
... URA Redneck if: Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene tips
... URA Redneck if: Your Sister's educational goal is to get out of High School before she gets Pregnant.
... URA Redneck if: Your considered an expert on wormbeds.
... URA Redneck if: You view Duct-Tape as a long term investment.
... URA Redneck if: Your sister subscribes to "Soldier of Fortune" magazine.
... URA Redneck if: You have to re-crank your car at every intersection.
... URA Redneck if: You've ever stolen toilet paper.
... URA Redneck if: Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos"'.
... URA Redneck if: You've ever used lard or Crisco to get into bed.
... URA Redneck if: Your mother has ever been involved in a fistfight at a High School Sporting event.
... URA Redneck if: You consider the fifth grade your senior year.
... URA Redneck if: You get HEARTGERMERS, but not from your Pets.
... URA Redneck if: You have a Hefty-bag for a passenger side window.
... URA Redneck if: You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
... URA Redneck if: Your Dog can't watch you eat without Gagging.
... URA Redneck if: You & your Dog Pee on the same tree while your walking him.
... URA Redneck if: You prominently display the souvenir you got at Graceland.
... URA Redneck if: You had a toothpick in your mouth when your Wedding pictures were taken.
... URA Redneck if: You cut your Toenails in front of company.
... URA Redneck if: You consider a six pack & a bug Zapper - Quality Entertainment.
... URA Redneck if: You bring a bar of soap to a Public swimming pool.
... URA Redneck if: You've ever stared at a can of Fruit Juice 'cuz it said CONCENTRATE.
... URA Redneck if: a big time is shooting rats at the City dump.
... URA Redneck if: You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
